It's a good thing I'm ornery, that's all I have to say, otherwise I'd get taken advantage of a lot more.
So I called DISH NETWORK (I'm capitalizing in the hopes that some poor soul Googling them will find my blog first) to cancel my TV service, and at first, naturally, they did everything in their power to keep me as a "valued customer".
"It's the best package we offer!" they exclaimed.
"What can we do to keep you?!" they begged.
After assuring them that no, I just really wasn't interested in the service anymore, things got decidedly more chilly.
You'd have thought I'd given them interesting suggestions on things they could *do* with their DISH NETWORK service, but in fact I'd been polite and conversational the whole time.
DISH NETWORK GUY: "Well, you know there will be a FEE for sending the equipment back, and if you don't send it back with our $15 dollar-per-box labels, you will be charged for the equipment."
I politely inquired as to whether there was an office location at which I could simply return the equipment (at least Comcast offers *that* convenience), the response to which was:
Alright then, fair enough I guess.
How about a refund on my unused portion?
ME: "The bills are for one month in advance, and I just paid up through April 5th, so clearly I am due a refund, correct?"
DNG: "No, ma'am. There is a no-refund policy in regards to paying for programming."
Excuse me? (Insert WTF face here.)
ME: "Wait, I paid in advance and I can't get the amount I didn't use returned to me?!"
DNG: "There's no way to get your money back. That's what "no-refund" means."
OH YES HE DID!
ME: "Yes, thank you I understand what "no refund" means, but don't all cable companies prorate the balance of the paid-in-advance amount if you cancel before hand?"
DNG: "Oh, well yes I *suppose* we can process a refund of 50.00 or so."
ME: "So can I get some kind of email verifying this?"
DNG: "No ma'am. If you don't see a credit, you can just call back."
What. The. Frig.
If I was at all apprehensive before about whether or not to ditch pay TV...
It's gone now.