It's Aliiiiiiive!

OMG you guys I bet you thought I was dead or something huh!

Well I'm happy to report that not only am I *not* dead, I am currently 10,000 feet in the air and climbing. (Well I was on Wednesday at about 5:30 anyway.)

Have you ever flown over the mountains? It's amazing. I was telling TR (who drove me to the airport, big thanks to him!) that every time I do this, I look down on these peaks and valleys and wonder if I'm seeing something nobody else will notice, or land that has never known human footfalls.

I look for this kind of stuff flying over the desert too, but then I'm looking for alien spacecraft and secret military bases.

You know how it is.

Anyway sorry for the lack of posting... it was a long week for only 2 days.

The past weekend was supposed to have included U2, but since Bono hurt himself and the tour was postponed it was cleverly decided that a few U2 concert videos wold do well as a replacement. No need to sacrifice the night entirely!

After we left I was feeling a little peckish yet (despite the delicious guacamole at Chris & Robyn's), so we stopped for drive-thru Mexican food.

This made me nervous, but I can't quite put my finger on why. All trepidation abated, however, after the first bite of what is possibly the best burrito I have ever had ever! Fresh pico (home-made - you can always tell), grilled flank steak seasoned just perfectly... it was total bliss.

It was blissfully chilly when we got back to TR's, but rather than close windows (thus squandering what was probably the last cool weather we'll see for a few months), I borrowed some sweats and enjoyed the cool breezes.

Right up until the fire alarms. AWESOME.

Actually I only heard a little, I was pretty bushed (and super cozy under an awesome fuzzy blue blanket) but apparently they squaked for a good hour or so, until the fire department finally showed up. Turns out it was a dead battery in one, which made all 4 on the second floor go off. The building manager, who clearly hadn't been changing the batteries as required, got a nice phone call at 3AM from the fire chief.

I love justice!

We slept in Sunday, but got up in time for a lovely lunch at J Alexanders (it was definitely a day for chicken tenders and sourdough), then headed to Dillards to do a little shopping. TR got the coolest Hawaiian shirt, and I got a pair of swim shorts to go with my bathing suit. I also picked up an awesome new pajama set courtesy of TR that are about the softest things I've ever worn! I attempted to get some shirts too, but of course everything in the larger sizes was hideous. There was one cute dress, but the hem was weird, and for 70 bucks it better be perfect all around!

Just as well, looking at the design I realized I could totally make one, and fast.

Being the crafty sort can make shopping difficult.

I headed home after our shopping and did a little sewing (and of course watched some Torchwood because I'm obsessive). I am midway through making some very cute plaid bibs for a friend of TR's who's having their first baby. They are so cute! And tiny! And not done yet! That's okay, she's not due until July. Pictures when they're complete, I promise!

Monday... well, Monday was a bear. I got into work at 8AM and left...

At 9PM.

Thirteen hour days are for suckers.

Truthfully my goal was to get as much done as possible so I could take the day off Wednesday, and I was successful so there's that! But man was I tired.

Tuesday morning I had another appointment with the Workers Comp doctor, and though I was finally able to get the meds he had prescribed, I decided not to take them. Prednisone is bad shit, guys. It can cause everything from simple dizziness to DEEP PSYCHOSIS. I swear, it was really in the warnings! Plus it specifically notes The Pill and hypothyroid treatment as two things to be careful of when taking that particular dosage, so ya know.

No.

I'll hang on to it, though, just in case it gets really bad. I'll send The Kid off to her grampas for a week and sequester myself away from all the pointy things.

After getting lots more work done Tuesday, and doing online check-in (I love the modern world), i headed for TRs. I wanted to just sleep in Wednesday, relax and enjoy the day before heading to the airport, and the best way to do that seemed to be to just stay put in Denver for the night.

We had a nice evening, had pizza from Fat Sully's which was fantastic, as was the dessert of Nutella-filled pizza dough. SO good.

This morning (Wednesday) we had a nice lazy sleep-in, getting up long enough to have breakfast at Snooze, only to head back home and back to sleep.<

It was a fabulous lazy vacationy morning... just what I wanted.

And so now I'm on a plane to Vegas! It's a bit bumpy at the moment, nothing too awful but it's hot down there in the desert. We're flying over the Grand Canyon right now... I think. Whatever it is, it's gorgeous.

I love to fly.

The rest of the week will be nothing but relaxing, despite it being 104 every day which is just brutal. There will be pools, and even better the Pima Air Musieum, which I got to tour once before but only briefly. I'm really looking forward to seeing all the WWII aircraft they've got on display... there's rumour of a Mustang, so I'll be on the lookout.

I'm not sure what else we'll be doing, but that's kind of the best part of vacation, isn't it... just putzing around.<

Happy Wednesday!

F-Word Friday: Fast and Furious

It's Friday already?!

These short weeks mess me up.

Posting has been difficult this week obviously; it's been unbelievably busy at work, which means by the time I get home I'm beyond beat.

So you get TWO update posts this week! See how everyone wins?

First up...

WTF WEDNESDAY

Or, as these folks might prefer it, WTF Wensday.

The Spelling Society, a group out of the U.K., feels that the English language is too complex, too outdated, and that it should be modernized. Or "modernised" if you're from there.

They like to protest at spelling bees with signs that say "Enuf is enuf. Enough is too much."

I'm of two minds on this.

On the one hand, yes English is hard to learn.

There are bits of verse out there that illustrate this fact, like...

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, lough and through.

Etc. etc. It's a weird, involved language. Point taken.

But you have to admit... it's interesting!

Don't you feel a sense of accomplishment when you can look back over your work and see you've used "your" and "you're" correctly? Or "yore" for that matter? That you've aced the whole "there, they're, their" thing?

I do! But I'm a nerd, so...

Their day may have come, though... one of The Kid's teachers actually told her spelling doesn't matter as long as she gets the answers right. Call me old fashioned, but...

No.

And of course there's the dreaded spellcheck. I use it now and again, certainly, but I don't rely on it even a little bit.

Also falling under WTF Wednesday... Macy's. As with Old Navy, they have now decided that we large people only get to order our clothes online, and aren't allowed to shop in their stores. Are they afraid we'll ruin their reps? Or maybe they're concerned we'll roll around like a bunch of Weebles and ruin all their carefully crafted displays.

Who knows.

Point is, I went in to look for a pair of capris to cover my large, non-corporate-friendly butt, and when I couldn't locate the Women's section was informed by the tiny 18-year-old sales girl that they "only carry normal sizes".

I'm surprised I wasn't more offended... actually I just laughed. What else can you do? I'll stick with being "abnormal", thanks... at least I know my curves are appreciated.

(Yardsticks. They're important.)

THRILLING THURSDAY

I did manage to find time for Trivia Wednesday night, and we took first place!

I didn't get to enjoy our win, though, as I was busy discussing the gift certificate from our *last* win with the manager.

It seems they've changed their policies, and the Trivia winnings aren't for use on Trivia night. Instead you have to bring them back and use them at a different time.

Whaaaa?

According to the managing partner (to whom I was directed to voice my complaint), this is so that their expenses to run GWD - the host's tab (she had two beers), the fee to run it (I can't imagine it's thousands of dollars) and the gift certificates (which they "don't have to do" according to him) - can be offset by further income and butts in seats.

This makes no sense to me, and it feels very unwelcoming. We go in there, we spend money regardless. As I told him, what makes more sense - that I use my $25 winnings for a couple of beers and appetizers, or that I come back on Ladies Night for $2 beers and really maximize the potential of those Trivia Bucks?!

He was unm0ved.

That's fine, though. There's no restriction on the gift certificates regarding hoarding. I'll just keep going back, not ordering anything at *all* when I do, winning as much as possible, and in a few months it's Party of 10. $25 a week adds up fast. (My but we are overconfident.)

Vindictive?

Maybe.

FINALLY FRIDAY

So yeah, it's been a long week. My alternate at work is on vacation, which means I'm doing both our jobs.

Naturally, this means that many many emergencies and weird situations have cropped up to be handled.

This weekends should be lovely though! Tomorrow morning I'm finally going to go do that testing for Front Range Community College (time hasn't been cooperating), and in the evening we're joining TR for a Rocky Mountain Rollergirls bout against Maryland's Charm City Roller Girls.

Sunday of course is Rollerpunks practice. The new skates are helping truckloads.

It's also another 3-day weekend for me... The Kid is leaving for Tucson mid-day Monday, and it's a bit of hike to the airport, so I'm just taking the day off. It'll give us a chance to sleep in and have breakfast before she takes off on her adventures! This also means lots of laundry Sunday night, and hopefully I'll be able to shoehorn in another visit with her Great-Gramma, who's currenty visiting.

And people wonder why I'm exhausted!

Sheesh.

Happy Friday, and have a wonderful weekend!

WTF Wednesday - Endings And Beginnings

Well, it's done!

My kid has officially metriculated (or whatever constitutes for same) from 8th Grade.

She's now a high school kid.

And therein lies the WTF... as in WHEN TF did this happen exactly?!

Five minutes ago she looked like this:

Okay she still looks like that

And now she's in high school!

So of course this week I've been terribly verklempt, thinking about all the firsts she's had in the last 8 or 9 years.

The first day of Kindergarten...

The first day of 1st Grade for that matter! I still remember thinking how big she was then.

Then there was the first day she started at her now-former middle school. They had moved the 5th Graders over there for that year to relieve the overcrowding and everyone was freaking out because OH GOD THE CHILDREN. Like somehow rubbing elbows with 6th graders was going to make them grow up too soon.

The Kid was unfazed.

The first day of 5th Grade was the BEST DAY EVAR

She had a viola to play! New teachers to charm! Friends she'd been with for 2 years already!

I even remember her first orchestra concert. I remember even more, though, the last viola concert of 5th grade, which was also the last orchestra concert for the out-going 8th graders. I remember thinking that it was going to be ages before The Kid was playing *her* last 8th grade concert.

And now it's passed, and I realize that all those 8th graders from 3 years ago are now going to be Seniors in high school, and their parents are probably freaking out way more than I am.

But still...

There are so many more firsts to come!

The first day of Freshman Year, with all its awkwardness.

The first time she drives a car.

The first time I have to ground her ass for breaking curfew.

I know in 4 years I will be a complete mess, that the end of high school and graduation itself will mean my baby is truly grown up and on her way to a future, so I'm just going to relax and enjoy the next bit of time with her, because I know now for certain that what all those other parents, including my own, always said was, indeed, the absolute truth...

Time flies.

She'll never stop being a dork, though. Thank God.

WTF Wednesday - Beer!

Still working on Tuesday's book review. It wasn't the best book, but I feel like since I actually managed to finish it, it deserves a Tome Tuesday edition.

So Monday night Trivia Robyn and I went to Left Hand Brewery (our general area is often referred to as Left Hand Valley, for Chief Niwot, aka Chief Left Hand, AND NOW YOU KNOW) for the Ales 4 Females monthly seminar/beer tasting.

Lucky me, it was fruit beer night! My favorite!

I've never been a huge beer person - to me it all tasted like fizzy, slightly bitter water - but as I've learned, "beer" doesn't just mean whatever's in the cans at the liquor store, or on tap at the local bar.

How does this fall under "WTF Wednesday" you ask?

WTF was I thinking not trying out more craft beers before this?

I mean, I'm a crafter! How could I not have known that this craft was out there, just waiting for me to not have time for it?

And it's true - it seems this is quite the labor-intensive hobby. I might have to stick with just visiting tasting rooms and finding treats, much like I stick with farmers markets for fresh produce because I have neither the skill nor time to learn how to grow my own veg without wasting great bunches of money only to end up with dead plants.

We'll see - never say never!

I liked the facility, it's very Front Rangey - a lot of natural stone and wood and barn-door type stuff.

Right off the bat, Ms. Robyn bought me a glass (a very LARGE glass) of Left Hand's Haystack Wheat, which I was very proud to have correctly identified as containing nutmeg and cloves.

You know how I love Fall foods? Breads and pumpkin and stuff?

Well I LOVED this beer.

After sitting and dishing for a little while, we headed in to the conference room, which was all set up with 3 tasting glasses and food pairings for each seat.

This month's seminar had lots of interesting info about the history of craft beers and women in that craft/industry.

Our speaker, Erin Glass of the Brewers Association, had a great quote, which I'm almost assuredly mis-quoting due to the afore-mentioned very large glass of Haystack Wheat.

"Someday, the term 'woman brewer' will be as archaic as the term 'lady doctor'."

Women were the original brewers after all - there are even ancient fermentation methods featured in a book I'm particularly interested in, "Sacred and Herbal Healing Beers".

I bet they taste like ass, but imagine... beer for colds! Beer for depression! Beer for... I don't know, gout?

The beers set up for us, though, were *not* ass-like in any way.

They were some of the most delicious things I've ever tasted.

Normally they don't get matchy with their tastings and pairings at A4F, but in this case I think our hostess wanted to really illustrate the difference between the idea that fruit beers are super sweet and the actual fruit/sweet item from which the brews take their inspiration.

I also learned that some beers taste better cool instead of cold, which was the case with all 3 of these - too cold and I think the flavor would suffer.

First up was Great Divide Wild Raspberry Ale, paired with blackberries.

This was not overly fruity, much less overly sweet, at least in my opinion - I'm no brewer, so I have no idea what the reviewers of this one are talking about (what the hell is "lacing"?!), but I thought it was lovely and smooth. We thought it would go really well with fruit pie of any description, and I plan on putting that theory to the test.

Soon.

Second was Left Hand Good JuJu Ale, paired with ginger cookies.

I love sweet ginger stuff, but it can be really hit or miss. If it's too ginger-rootish, like crystallized ginger, it can be very bitter and unpleasant. Sweeten it too much and you have Ginger Ale and it's just a sweet soda.

One perfect balance can be found in Reed's Ginger Candy, which is like eating a ginger snap with a hot sauce finish - delicious!

This was served from the cask, so it didn't have all the carbonation you usually find, which I think was lovely because I really got to concentrate on the scent and taste without being distracted by bubbles.

This is just so delicious - I think it would be lovely with Thanksgiving dinner, only because when I think of ginger and clove I think Fall, but really it would be lovely any time.

I'm thinking with Thai food.

More testing is required.

Last but not least, we had Pyramid Audacious Apricot Ale, paired with dried apricots.

And oh my goodness.

Apricots aren't particularly super-sweet to begin with, and neither was this brew. I can definitely see it going with desserts, but again think a serious sampling is going to be required to verify this.

Part of our "reading list" included a website on how to put together a tasting...

I think a few folks are going to get roped into home-made pies and fruit beer some afternoon this Summer.

I know it'll be a struggle, but I have a feeling they'll make it through.

Last but not least, we found out that this week is American Craft Beer Week!

Go celebrate with a few local brews!

You'd be surprised how many there are out there... if you're not in Northern Colorado (land of Left Hand, Pumphouse Brewery, and Oskar Blues just to name a few that I can get to in 10 minutes or less), I can guarantee there's some where you are.

Find a brewery, do a tasting, and celebrate the fact that, as Ben Franklin said...

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Even if it's maybe only partly true (and maybe totally false), I love that quote, and since Ben isn't here to dispute it, we'll just go with it.

I think he'd be okay with that.

Happy Wednesday!

WTF Wednesdsay - Overscheduled

It's been a super busy couple of days, which means I'm not at my most Mimiest, but I promise to bring you something awesome for Thursday!

I don't know what it is yet, but until I do I give you the following lazy backup plan, in honor of tonight's Science Fair.

I totally heart Bill Nye, and what says "science fair" more than a model of the planets?

Well, maybe lava-spewing papier-mache volcanoes and pictures of plant torture.

Happy Wednesday!

WTF Wednesday - 4... 3... 2... 1...

Earth belo-o-o-w us, drifting faaaaaalling...

Oh, hi!

Sorry, I had that song stuck in my head. And now you do too! Muwahahahaha.

So TR is looking for interesting places to live. So far he's found some gorgeous places that cost billions of dollars (well no, but they might as well!), a school complex in the middle of Kansas, and...

Missile bases! Neat places, those. Check out a little history!

Hopefully these aren't still lurking...

Who knew these were even for sale!?

This one's neat...

It reminds me of The Jetsons, only with less robots and stars

It's all redone and has a cool above-ground log cabin (click the picture, it's actually quite lovely!), but the rest of them are a teeeeeensy bit creepy.

BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!

Doesn't that look like creatures will come shambling through there at any minute?! *shudder*

Your murderer will flay you now.

I think I need a tetanus shot. Also, my mommy.

But hey, maybe I just lack vision! Look at what people have done with their missile bases!

Jackson Heights High School in Kansas used to be a base, and while I would run screaming from the "before" picture, somebody definitely had imagination.

BEFORE: One, two Freddy's coming for you. RUUUUUUN!

AFTER: Um... cute! I think!

Pretty awesome... I bet those stripes were fun to paint!

No trivia tonight, I'm still recovering from the bar stools last week!

Hope you have a lovely Wednesday, up in the open air!

WTF Wednesday - A Train? Really?

Okay now THIS is cool.



Can you imagine?! Waking up every morning to a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, or pretending to live in a fish tank?

Just imagine how much more tolerable those little micro-hotels would be with one of these.

I think the train one would make me dizzy though.

WTF Wednesday indeed.

Tonight... more Trivia! I'm going to see if we can't make it a hat trick. If nothing else, I'll once again be able to eat and drink for free, so win!

Trivia at Pumphouse doesn't start until 8, though, so I think I might try making these coconut kiwi muffins I found; I happen to have a bag of kiwis sitting in the fridge, and a good cup or so of coconut in my pantry, and a little time to kill!

We'll see if I find the motivation.

I may just have a salad and watch Jon Stewart interview Rachel Maddow.

The Kid is having a great time! She called me earlier while they were taking a break from their morning in New York, where they took the subway, saw Central Park, and shopped. A lot.

So educational! But she did pick me up a Rachel Maddow mug, so ya know, I can't complain too much.

WTF Wednesday - All The Birds Are Singing That You're Gonna Die

So I may have mentioned my thing for Joss Whedon.

By "thing", of course, I mean deep-seated involvement detailed enough that a thesis paper is probably floating around in there somewhere.

Naturally, I loved Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, which...

Well you just have to watch it. Go! Now! To iTunes or whatever with you!

Here's an Attack Of The Show piece about it. (Click that link right there.)

It's got Doogie Howser AND Captain Tightpants! Really you can't go wrong. Here's a little snippet, poorly recorded on YouTube, but which will lure you in with its awesomeness.



Once you've seen it, or if you already have, check out the following, which will make you squee with joy, like I did.

Really! It was loud and stuff. There were looks.



8 BIT DR. HORRIBLE.

I can't wait for parts 2 and 3!

WTF Wednesday - It Puts The Lotion In The Basket

Thanks to everyone who supported me through my trauma yesterday...

I'm feeling much better today! And the dryer is still working, so you know, WIN.

My buddy Nova thinks it might have been all the Sudafed I downed over the weekend, combined with the thyroid meds I take daily.

Whatever it was, I'm glad it's gone!

So Easter is this Sunday, and we have some plans to celebrate with The Kid's Colorado grampa et al. There will be ham! Egg decorating! Wizard of Oz on Blu-ray!

And lamb cake, courtesy of me.

"What's a lamb cake?" those of you not from Chicago are asking.

It's truly one of the things that sticks out most as a difference between Chicago and Smalltownsville, Colorado (besides the lack of bakeries in general that don't involve grocery stores).

Nobody knows what a lamb cake is!

It makes sense I suppose, I don't even know if they're all that popular in southern Chicagoland, since they're really an eastern European tradition, and most of the Polish/Russian population in Chicago lives on the north side.

A lamb cake is exactly what it sounds like, a cake in the shape of a lamb, only it's sitting up and decorated in coconut and jelly beans and such.


Nike?

Isn't it cute?

And my mother bought me a lamb cake mold. I am SO making one.

Whether or not it will look like the example above remains to be seen, of course.

But take a look again. See the shape?

Much like peeps and chocolate bunnies, the best part of this is the order in which you eat it.

HEAD FIRST.

You can totally throw in Highlander references and everything!

Awhile back, in trying to explain the lamb cake and subsequent joy of carving up said beastie, TR's brother had some really great ideas involving fake blood, plastic tubing and hidden pumping mechanisms. I thought it might be a little more subtle (and gross) to work some kind of twizzlers and those crispy straw-shaped cookies into the neck area, or at least some raspberry jam. Or both.

Maybe next year!

This year I'll keep it a little more PG and quietly fell the poor creature away from the eyes of the little ones who will be present.

Tonight is The Kid's first volunteer session at the Humane Society; while she's there I'll be shopping for Easter basket goodies at Cost Plus (where all the good candy lives).

She may be 14, but she still loves the tradition. I hide the basket and everything, and she always shares, so everybody wins!

WTF Wednesday: Snow Day!

I'll start with my WTF of the day... why, when it's Spring Break at the University, meaning classes and such aren't affected, did they choose to do a "delayed start" today instead of just taking the day off?

All the school districts are closed due to "treacherous conditions".

So what the hell?!

Anyway.

Look at my new bag!

I'll post some betterish pics later, but check out the palm trees on the liner!

So cute. And very functional.

WTF Wednesday - Póg Mo Thóin!

St. Patrick's Day...

I'm so glad when it's not on a weekend. It's bad enough when the drinkers observe the day on the weekend, but when it's the actual *day*? Twice as bad!

I don't celebrate it for the St. Patrick aspect, nor for the drinking, not being much of a drinker myself (side note... tradition says that back before the 1600s it was a one-day break from Lent in Ireland).

Instead, I celebrate my Irish & Scottish heritage, because although Ireland is the one getting all the press, it really is a holiday for all us Celts (please note the pipes and drums and kilts in the parades... that's not Irish!). They have very different cultures, of course, but both Ireland & Scotland (and Wales as well) have in their time been oppressed by the English to the point where their cultures and even their native language were in danger of disappearing... and would have entirely if not for a brave few who held on, and the bunch here in America (where the first parade was held in the late 1700s) who went out and flew their freak flags high.

Plus, it's fun to wear green!

Lastly, but not leastly...

I miss Chicago. The green river, the Green River...


Click it! It's pretty.

Those folks know how to throw a parade!

Whatever you do, if you do anything at all, have a lovely St. Patrick's Day. I'm going to take The Kid to Mike O'Shay's for dinner (not the most Irish of places, but close enough), then having a little soda bread for dessert while I watch my yearly favorite, The Quiet Man.

I'd go see my favorite locals, but they're playing down in Denver at Fadó and it'll be a madhouse.

Oh and PS... I filed this under WTF because a bunch of you will wonder WTF póg mo thóin means. I'll leave it to you to look up. ;)

Éirinn go brách!

WTF Wednesday: 7 Days To Live?

I had the creepiest thing happen Monday night!

I took The Kid to the library, where the orientation for teen volunteering at the Longmont Humane Society was taking place, and as we were coming up to the door the pay phone outside the doors started ringing.

Because it was outside the library, and nobody seemed to be around and waiting for a call, and really who calls a pay phone anymore, I figured I’d answer and just say “Hello, this is a payphone” and that would be that. I'd save the person who dialed wrong some trouble and additional phone calls, or at least let them know that their drug dealer couldn’t make the pre-arranged phone call time.

So after letting the caller know this, as I'm going to hang up, a voice on the other end whispers, WHISPERS, mind you…

“I’m not even real.”

Super creepy, right?! And of course it kicked up all kinds of horrible horror movie scenarios.

So yeah, if I’m dead in a week, it’s been nice knowin’ ya, give my regards to Broadway and all that...

EEEEEEEEK! Where's the Ghostbusters crew when you need them!?

I had the biggest crush on Bill Murray

WTF Wednesday - Ripoff Artists

Wow.

It's a good thing I'm ornery, that's all I have to say, otherwise I'd get taken advantage of a lot more.

So I called DISH NETWORK (I'm capitalizing in the hopes that some poor soul Googling them will find my blog first) to cancel my TV service, and at first, naturally, they did everything in their power to keep me as a "valued customer".

"It's the best package we offer!" they exclaimed.

"What can we do to keep you?!" they begged.

After assuring them that no, I just really wasn't interested in the service anymore, things got decidedly more chilly.

You'd have thought I'd given them interesting suggestions on things they could *do* with their DISH NETWORK service, but in fact I'd been polite and conversational the whole time.

DISH NETWORK GUY: "Well, you know there will be a FEE for sending the equipment back, and if you don't send it back with our $15 dollar-per-box labels, you will be charged for the equipment."

I politely inquired as to whether there was an office location at which I could simply return the equipment (at least Comcast offers *that* convenience), the response to which was:

DNG: "No."

Alright then, fair enough I guess.

How about a refund on my unused portion?

ME: "The bills are for one month in advance, and I just paid up through April 5th, so clearly I am due a refund, correct?"

DNG: "No, ma'am. There is a no-refund policy in regards to paying for programming."

Excuse me? (Insert WTF face here.)

ME: "Wait, I paid in advance and I can't get the amount I didn't use returned to me?!"

DNG: "There's no way to get your money back. That's what "no-refund" means."

OH YES HE DID!

ME: "Yes, thank you I understand what "no refund" means, but don't all cable companies prorate the balance of the paid-in-advance amount if you cancel before hand?"

DNG: "Oh, well yes I *suppose* we can process a refund of 50.00 or so."

ME: "So can I get some kind of email verifying this?"

DNG: "No ma'am. If you don't see a credit, you can just call back."

What. The. Frig.

If I was at all apprehensive before about whether or not to ditch pay TV...

It's gone now.

WTF Wednesday - Exhaustion

So I had an awesome thought this morning in the car.

It was the most fantastic "Wonder Why" ever...

And I totally don't remember what it was about. Maybe I'll pick up the thread on the way home... you know how that sometimes happens when you retrace your steps.

I think I need one of those little keychain recording devices. But you know, if I had one, I'd lose it in my massive purse and get into a car accident trying to retrieve it before my thought bubble bursts.

I blame my lack of thought-keeping on my utter exhaustion...

This thing at work is beyond time-consuming, and while it *is* making the days just zip by, it's also one of those never-ending time sucks that mean I suddenly find it's 3:15 and I have a million other little things I was supposed to do but didn't.

Yeesh.

As predicted, people are just not getting it when it comes to the system.

Well, to be fair, it's only a few out of the bunch, but some of them were really surprising - people who I was sure would totally get it.

Oh well.

There's a school Orchestra concert tonight... and palm trees in my future...

I'll just concentrate on those!

That, and the Llamapillar. It made me laugh.

Happy Wednesday...

WTF Wednesday - Ask Away

Does it make *any* sense to you that someone's sexual preferences should cause them to be ejected from the armed forces they volunteered for?

In particular, does it make sense to you that someone who volunteers for services *in wartime* should be denied the ability to do what they volunteered to do, namely fight for what they believe in, because they're gay?

It makes about as much sense as saying you can't fight for your country because you're blonde.

The policy's reasons are stated as follows:

"Anyone...who demonstrates a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts...would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."

I'm sorry, what?

So if I'm clear on what this is saying, they're first of all saying that if you're gay you have no morals (which is an entirely religiously-motivated opinion), and that not only do you have no moral compass but you also have no ability to follow orders and keep yourself in check.

Because all those heterosexual soldiers who tortured prisoners at Abu Ghraib were just so admirable and restrained and morally superior.

Right.

I'm not saying you have to agree with homosexuality, that's entirely your call, but come on.

I applaud President Obama for finally seeing the light on this, although I wish he would make it effective immediately. Instead there's going to be some sort of year-long survey, which to me smacks of "maybe they'll forget about it", but I don't think that's going to happen.

WTF Wednesday - Thousand Year Old Tinkle

Okay if you have a rodent thing, turn back now!

But first, tell me this isn't cute...


Awwwwww!

That, my friends, is a pack rat.

I had never actually seen one before (a good thing, by all accounts), so I made the assumption they were something akin to sewer rats, and not at all like the lovable pet rats you can purchase at pet stores.

I mean look at that little face!

Who could guess that sweet mug could be hiding such a destructive little bugger?

TR was telling me all about them yesterday (having encountered them up in the mountains), and they are really very fascinating creatures.

Apparently they've been around for absolute ever, too. They found a pack rat "midden" (what their dens are called) in New Mexico that was over 1,000 years old! But that's nothing, really.

They found one they were able to date to the Pleistocene Era. That would be 2.5 million to 12,000 years ago.

That's some old pee, but more importantly, think of the science!

According to the Wiki entry:

"The middens may thus be analyzed to reconstruct their original environment, and comparisons between middens allow a record of vegetative and climate change to be built. Examinations and comparisons of pack rat middens have largely supplanted pollen records as a method of study in the regions where they are available."

"The resilience of the middens is due to three factors. The crystallized urine dramatically slows the decay of the materials in the midden. The dry climate of the American Southwest further slows the decay, and middens that are protected from the elements under rock overhangs or in caves survive even longer."

Things you never knew.

SCIENCE!

WTF Wednesday - All I Wanted Was My Two Front Teeth!

So, um...

I remembered the cord.

Wow I had a lot in that camera!

(PS...So as to not blow up your computer, I have shrunk (shrank? shrinked?) the following into more bite-size versions, but if there are any you'd like to see up close go ahead and click em'.)

Okay we're going to start off with a pride-fest. I made a LOT of gifts this year. Not as many as I would have liked to but still a fair amount. I have photos of all but one (the cape I made for KJ... I'll work on that), and I'd like to share them with you.

Because I'm needy and require approval, that's why.



This is what my house looked like a week before Christmas...

Um...

Okay, Christmas morning.

I still had time!



Aren't they cute? They were really easy to make. And I made a LOT of them. They went to various friends and family; I thought I was going to have enough to give away but they all found homes.

If you'd like to make some yourself, here's the pattern! I added the buttons because I didn't like how the join looked. My OCD was fully in control.

Actually, I had so much fun making them that if you'd like me to make one FOR you, you need only say the word.

You're welcome!



These are a few the Chrismyth patterns I found a million years ago; there was a sixth but it got sent to a swap partner! There are several more patterns, but I think I'll let this group go... I started that dragon in the middle there about 9 years ago. I don't think I'll ever finish this feat.

Small cross-stitch takes FOREVER. I'd much rather sew something.



This would be what I made my mom. You can find the pattern here! It is SO soft, and she loved the color.

I would like to tell you that I finished this before Christmas, but I didn't. I finished it the morning of the day she arrived in town... on the 28th.



The Dr. Who scarf! This is the authentic pattern, I'll have you know. It's not quite as long as the original (14 feet!) but it got close enough.

It is with no small amount of pride that I point out the following:

1. TR wears this thing everywhere.
2. See the little green bit there in the middle of the picture? The bitty painting with the green and blue and red? I made that, too.

I just really love it when hand-made stuff doesn't get stashed in a closet somewhere (yes I realize there's a closet there, but you know what I mean). It's deeply nerve-wracking to give someone something you've made - we're all our own worst critics. So when it's not only appreciated but out there for everyone to see...

Awesome.

Also please note the really lovely photo of a cross next to the scarf. It's gorgeous and I wish I had a better shot of it.



Fug Bunny!

In a desperate attempt not to show up empty handed, I found a last-minute pattern online for a toddler-friendly item (read: can't rip it limb from limb - well not easily - and nothing to pull off and swallow), and I found this.

I had this old shirt that I loved for the fabric only (horizontal stripes + stretchy jersey = NO), and I used it to make little Fug up there.

I gave it that unfortunate name in advance of giving it to little Karma up there (isn't she cute?)... had I known how much she would love it I probably would have given it a better name.

Like Mimi Sewed My Arms In Backward And Stuffed Me Oddly But I'm Still Cute Bunny.

Nah, too long. Fug Bunny it is.



It was a year for geek crafts, apparently.

This was a special request by my favorite Kid. The Jayne Hat.

Have I told you about how much I love Firely? I might have mentioned it.

Okay! Now on to the presents! I didn't take pictures of everything, that would have been embarrassing, but I just need to tell you that I was extremely grateful to everyone who thought of us this year.

Christmas isn't about presents, but it sure makes it fun!



This is a really cool camera. The Kid loved it, and her grampa Craig bought her a 4G card for it, plus a camera case that is going to really work for her trip to Washington DC & New York... which is coming up soon!

Also, I want one for myself now. GREEDY.

I'm going to have to get a Webshots account just for her, I think. She's already had tons of fun with it!



I bought her a book of music for her Viola. Fiddling music.

My head hurt just looking at this, but she was humming along with the notes... impressive, no?



This was my present. It was filled with little wrapped things, and was very sweet and smelled good.

I love Yankee Candle.

Please ignore the Craft Crazy in the background there. I already admitted to you that I was totally behind, NO NEED TO RUB IT IN.

My mom brought some stuff with her for us. I mentioned the other day that she gave me the amazing shawl she'd spent so much time on...



Really you have to see it in person. There are about 5 million little beads worked into it.



I think you should click this picture, because you need to see the hat and bag closer.

My mother is amazing.



Here's my sad little tree... actually it was pretty cute. I liked having a small tree this year - not only did I only use the ornaments that meant the most to me (versus putting everything I can find on there), the tree also didn't take up the whole house.

Next year, I'm going to get a real tree, but I'm going to stick with the small-but-cute theme.



Nova got me these. I have no idea what I'll use them for, but I will FIND SOMETHING. I mean come on! Look at that!



This house is 2 miles from me. I can see it from my roof.

Now! On to the sledding!



All hats and scarves made by me and my mom. Nice!

The hat my mom is wearing is the one she made The Kid *last* year, and then of course there's the Skull Cap from this year, which is just totally adorable.



The Kid had a LOT of fun.



So did I. Despite the bruises.



When we got tired, we sat on the log fence that was at the top of the hill.

This was our view...

And it made all the bruising totally worth it.

WTF Wednesday - The Party Of ME!

I think this picture sort of speaks for itself, don't you?

No?

Oh, well go Google "Joe Lieberman Is An Enormous Jerk" and you'll see what I mean.

Nothing like holding the nation hostage, Joe! WAY TO GO!

That is all.

Happy Wednesday!

Wonder Why Wednesday - WTF Edition

Have you heard about this?

Apparently, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force has decided that women only *really* need mammograms after age 50. Even then, only every 2 years.

Because, you know, mammograms only really save maybe 15% of those women.

WHAT. THE. FRACK.

Even if they only save 1 woman a year, it's worth it!

I'm so upset by this, but I'm glad to know that everyone else pretty much is too. Most doctors interviewed have said they will continue giving mammograms regularly (the currently guidelines are 40+, and yearly).

I understand that a lot of unnecessary surgeries and fear have resulted from faulty mammogram tests, but isn't a little fear followed by a "false alarm!" worth your life?

But okay, fine, if you're not high-risk, then you just do self-exams, right?

"They also recommend that physicians abstain from teaching women how to examine their breasts for signs of cancer because of a lack of evidence that it is of any benefit."

Um, what?

WHAT?

WHAT?!?

I wish I knew what to do about this. All we can really do is continue to teach our daughters and nieces and sisters and friends who come after us that self-exams are a must... we'll just have to teach them ourselves.

On top of the outrage regarding this, the Republicans are using it as yet another reason to keep Health Care Reform from going forward - what they don't seem to realize is that these recommendations were made and we don't have reformed Health Care. So, ya know, way to miss the point there, kids. Anyway.

Unbelievable.

WTF Wednesday - Dispepsia

Okay I think I have an ulcer.

I think that's the actual, real life, no-I'm-not-being-a-hypochondriac answer.

I hate the internet when it's right!

Now lots of people deal with these, and I will too, and I shouldn't bitch about it anyway because HELLO it's Veteran's Day and there are so many people out there with bigger problems than this, but...

But...

On the no list? (God I hope it's temporary.)

Chocolate.
Coffee.
Hot sauce.
Orange juice.
Garlic.
Italian dressing.
Tomatoes.
Carbonated beverages.
Raw broccoli and cucumbers and pretty much all raw veg.

CHOCOLATE. Did you catch that?

So pretty much... my entire diet. Out the window.

Oh and obviously... no ibuprofen.

SOB.

That's it for today, please forgive my whiny post full of whining.

To offset my pity party, I give to you some solid cute. See ya tomorrow!



That looks spicy. Good thing I don't want to eat it.