If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, If You Give A Pig A Pancake, If You Give A Moose A Muffin...there were more, but my kiddo stopped wanting them before they came out.
They're all very cute and clever and take the "what happens next" chaos-theory of The Cat In The Hat and make it a little less terrifying.
I don't know about you but I was always nervous reading that book as a child; I was so sure those kids were going to get in HUGE trouble that I just couldn't enjoy the mess Thing 1 and Thing 2 made. It was nerve-wracking, just like I Love Lucy reruns.
Just me? *ahem* Moving on.
Almost as scary as the Jim Carrey movie version
So my friend Christine is going to learn to play the guitar.
She decided that her one regret as she approaches 30 (you're welcome, dear) is that she never really tried to learn.
She bought this yesterday:
Bitchin
I've been imagining all morning how badass it would be if I finally learned to play drums like *I've* always wanted to... we could totally start a band. But you know what happens to bands, you've seen Behind The Music! Better to just leave it to the imagination...
If You Start A Band With Your Friend, by Mimi Rickets.
If you start a band with your friend, she'll probably want to pick the songs you play.
After she picks the songs, and you veto doing the entire Jack White catalog, she'll want to figure out what the name of your band should be.
What, no Coldplay?
Once you've ruled out the weird ones and the off-putting ones, you'll both settle on a good name you both like, Tom Waits For No Man.
Oh yes
Now that you have a name, she'll probably want to get some new outfits.
No.
Trying on outfits will remind her that she still has to learn the guitar and you still have to learn the drums, so you'll both get lessons.
While you're trying to set them up, she'll totally get distracted by your new lead singer and bassist, the hot guy who teaches guitar.
You knew it was coming
After she hires him without an audition, you'll immediately get signed to a label because he's so cute.
Once you've had your big meeting with the record label, they'll ask her and the cute guy to replace the drummer.
Oh wait, that's you.
Now you'll *never* meet him
Five years later, while sitting on your couch watching VH1 and lamenting the fact that you were almost the drummer for TWFNM, you'll get a knock on the door.
It'll be your friend.
She got dropped from the label due to "artistic differences".
You'll invite your friend in, and she'll tell you she's joined a commune & taken up the zither.
And chances are, if you let her demonstrate the zither (and teach you about composting)...
She'll want to start a band!
THE END
Chris, congrats on your new venture, you're going to do AWESOME and have so much fun!
7 comments:
Oh man! I sooooo wanted to learn the drums. AND I soooo want to meet Robert Smith!
Haha! You are a clever girl!
I really wish I could be cool and play the guitar. I picked up my husband's and after 2 minutes I cried because my fingers were bleeding and my wrist was pointing off to the side at a strange and painful angle.
Elle
PS I too can not enjoy the Cat in the Hat--even seeing the movie as an adult, I was gripping the popcorn bowl thinking "oh no they're totally gonna get it..."
Elle
I'm SO GLAD I'm not alone in my anxious reactions!! :)
Jaime, I want to be in your band:) Seitzy
I LOVE IT!!!!!!! You know me so well.
You know, we could totally do it. 2 of my absolute favorite bands are only drums & guitar - The White Stripes & The Black Keys.
Reading this yet again because I love it so much. Might I add, you selected to particularly yummy pictures of my boy Jack. :P
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