I've long since realized that I'm not at all what I thought 35 would be but rather some amalgam of various ages I've been so far or observed in others.
Some days I'm 17 and defiant.
Some days I'm 60 and disapproving (usually at work - damn kids and the skateboards).
Age is just a number as we all find out eventually - what is 35 supposed to act like anyway? It's all relative.
This begs the question...
What does our chronological age have to do with anything?
Short answer? Not a damn thing.
Yeah, yeah, we've all heard it shouted repeatedly...
"What are you, 12?" "Grow up!" "Act your age, not your shoe size!"
What exactly is 12 supposed to be like? Or 22? Or 90?
Take Leonard Cohen. He's 74... what does that number say to you?
Old. Crotchety. Possibly infirm. Certainly not schooling the youngins on how it's done, right?
Not so much.
And what about 27?
Young & vibrant? Perhaps coming into your own as an adult? Starting a family, a career, a life?
It's all about experience & circumstance.
Just lately, as The Child has been getting older and my responsibility for her has lessened, I've felt as if I'm growing younger despite my advancing grey hair population, wrinkled brow and ever-saggier wobbly bits.
Not that I'm not responsible for her, don't get me wrong - she's still just a kid - but I have *less* of the responsibilities that seem to have take up so much of my life the last 13 years.
The Child makes her own lunches, gets herself up in the morning, does her homework without my help... she even sets her own alarm and gets herself to bed on time.
I in turn suddenly find myself going out and doing things without her, something I wasn't sure I'd ever do again - it's been her & me* so long now that for awhile I felt guilty about it, like somehow I should be including her more.
Instead, I've gotten used to it, and so has she, and now I'm free to do things like date a cute guy and eat dinner at 9PM, instead of always living my usual in-the-house-by-6 lifestyle.
It's like I'm finally living my 20's, sorta... but it's definitely not what I would have defined 35 (or 40) as being.
It really is just a number.
* Totally proper grammar - break it down like your English teacher taught ya!