Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wonder Why Wednesday - Parenthood

A few people are actually reading this thing! Hi guys!

While I'm sure that people can only take so much of my goofy craft addictions, I'm also *fairly* certain that nobody wants to read my op-ed pieces all the time either... I have many opinions on things (I know those of you who know me are shocked. SHOCKED!) and love to share, but I don't want to over-do it. These posts are long enough!

To obtain a happy medium, I'll try taking a page from quite a few blogs I've seen with a specialty day (like Wordless Wednesday) and institute Wonder Why Wednesdays. Why is the sky blue? Why aren't there more cupcake shops? Why is that guy staring at me? Why do birds suddenly appear... every time... you are near? (You're welcome for the earworm.)

Today's subject: To Breed or Not to Breed.

I have an almost-13-year-old (3 days to go!) and it is wonderful. Having a baby was the hardest work I ever did, and I am glad that I did it. I love her and would be lost without her, and thoroughly enjoyed being her Girl Scout leader and making cupcakes for school birthdays and helping her with Valentines for the whole class every year. I gladly sacrificed my nice apartment and nice car to keep her in a good daycare when I split up with her stupid father, and she makes it worth it (almost) to have been married to him, because otherwise I would never have had her.

Having said that, I have to say that parenthood isn't for everyone! My friend Christine (a confirmed bachelorette with no plans to have children) sent me a link to a small article that really put a fine point on it:

"My Biological Clock Is Broken"

This made me laugh (particularly the last bit... Run! Zombies!), and it got me thinking that I wish *more* women would consider how they really feel about having children.

Here's what I'm wondering, though... why do you think it is that lots of people seem to think there's something actively *wrong* with women who don't want to have kids or even get married? Is it a sense of habit? A feeling of obligation to gender and society? A need for repeating the traditions of our own youth?

Is there really anything wrong with living your adult life just for you or maybe you and a partner?

Personally, despite my love for my daughter, and as much as I'll miss her when she heads to college in 5 (gasp) years, I'm looking forward to the freedom that will accompany that new life of mine. My friend Melissa's son is a senior in high school, and though she loves him, she is also looking forward to the time when he's out living his own life. There's nothing wrong with us feeling like that, it's that 'empty nester' thing, so what exactly is the problem with choosing to *skip* the whole child-rearing part in the first place if it's not what you want?


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