Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tome Tuesday #5 - Stacked: A 32DDD Reports From The Front

I'll admit, I've been slacking on my reading... with the holiday looming (and the many crafts I'm trying to pull off) I find myself exhausted, hands sore from crocheting like a fiend, and too tired to look at words in print anymore.

Maybe I should switch to books on CD. No no no, that's cheating.

Anyway, enough whining... on to today's book!

Stacked, by Susan Seligson, is all about boobs, in particular hers.

She is blessed (or cursed, depends on the day) with enormous breasts. They stick out, they get in the way, there are stares.

Why all the fuss?

That's the question she set out to answer, more or less.

The book is more a series of short essays about the nature of breasts than it is an autobiography of her personal experiences, and she covers a lot of ground. Amongst other subjects, there are interesting treatises on...

* Various theories on the reasons behind the sexual appeal of what are basically baby-feeding devices.
* A run down of the various nicknames out there and where they come from, my hands-down favorite of all time being sweater puppies - it's just so cute!
* Finding the perfect bra (it's nearly impossible withough some special handling and a lot of bucks).
* How size affects success in the sex industries - apparently the large, fake breasts of women like Maxi Mounds (yes really) are considered offputting and more a gimmick than an alluring feature.
* The history, pros and cons and realities of breast augmentation, from increasing to decreasing (there's an hysterical rundown of a day with Dr. 90210).
* Some thoughts on why so many women feel the need to change their breasts.
* The lengths to which girls will go to grow bigger boobs, and the lies they'll believe.
* Learning to love your boobs as they are.

The last part really struck a cord with me personally. Something you may not know about me is that I have enormous boobs.

Imagine how defeating, even upsetting, it is to see all these magazine pictures of huge breasts that sit somewhere around the armpits. That's not natural and we know it, but when you're shown it enough times you start to think that your rather normal, gravity-challenged breasts are gross and unattractive.

It isn't helped, of course, by the fact that best we big-busted girls can hope for in a sexy AND supportive bra is a little lace, at least if we don't want to shell out 100.00 a pop and go to some hard-to-find specialty store. It ends up being one or the other, supportive and BEIGE or pretty and a constant threat to others... those straps could go any time!

So to read about a woman who has learned to accept her breasts as they are, who even extols the virtues of lettin' em' hang free, is rather empowering for me. I don't think I'll ever be able to go bra-less in public and feel classy, but I have suddenly found myself whipping off the restraints the minute I get in the house.

It's bliss.

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