Friday, December 11, 2009

F-Word Friday: Fa-La-La-La-Lame

Okay, this is going to sound really bitchy, and full of spiteful non-Christmas-spiritness, and will fly in the face of anything resembling a world view containing knowledge of those suffering around me.

I'm warning you in advance.

Are you sufficiently warned?

Here goes.

The Rickets are cursed. Cursed forever to get the absolute shittiest present-swap presents on earth. Though I, and Mama Rickets before me, have always taken careful measures to assure that our swapees get something catered to them, or in the case of a White Elephant, to get something that anyone would be thrilled to have, inevitably...

We get skunked.

Every time.

Today was our office party (I made matzo ball soup, and it was awesome), and as tradition dictates we had our White Elephant. If you've never heard of this practice, it's a little like a grab bag, only you can steal the presents from others (up to 3 times per present), and it can get pretty rowdy and fun.

Depending on the group doing it, there are different schools of thought on the gift-procurement process. For some, it's a $10 limit and should be something at least passably nice. For others it's a chance to offload that horrible tea cup set they got from Aunt Mable last year.

And I *always* get the tea set, so to speak. Every time! Even when I have the coveted last or second to last number and get my choice of all the bounty before me... I still manage to pick the crap.

It's a gambling problem, of sorts...sure there's that fabulous DVD of The Princess Bride over there, and a hot chocolate set that The Kid would just drool over hiding behind that woman's hands on the end (she's hoping I won't notice - she need not worry). There's a set of tea towels, just begging to be embroidered or otherwise craftified, RIGHT NEXT TO ME.



There's one more gift on the table. It's wrapped in sparkling paper, it's got a big red bow. How can I resist?


Every time.

What exactly do I think is going to be in that gift, anyway, a new car?

And don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to receive any gift at all, but why do I end up with the Nuns Having Fun calendar?

The dollar-store candle-scaping set that the gifter probably had sitting in the attic for a few years, as evidenced by the candle which is CRACKED UP THE MIDDLE?

The antique chocolates circa the Nixon-era White House, that literally have dust in the crevices of the yellowing cellophane?

Cursed, I tell you.

Well, the good news is, I've got my White Elephant gift all tied up for next time!

Have a wonderful weekend! Me and my candle scape (excuse me, my candle scape and *I*) will be finishing up some gifts and lounging around the house.


Ruth Covington said...

It's not just you. Every year at the AAC holiday party I opted to participate in the WE exchange and I *ALWAYS* got the crap gift. One year it was some K-Tel record. Remember those?! Sorry about the candle scape thingy...

curegirl0421 said...

Ha... yeah, it's alright. (She said defeatedly.) It beats the nun calendar. Now you know why I asked if that was the gift *you* brought!

Dandy said...

Bwahahah! Thats too funny! Only not really. Would you like purple fringed vest to make you feel better?

curegirl0421 said...

Ah, I see you too were a victim. ;) I can't even imagine what I'd look like in a purple fringed vest. I envision it in suede, with maybe some star cutouts. I'd look like Dolly Parton's less attractive sister! Yeeeehaw!

Elle Bee said...

Last year, my husband brought home a robot head mask...this year, chocolates. I'd say this year was better than last...