Friday, September 3, 2010

The Process

Things I've learned this week (week 2 of School: The Time-Suck)...

Online learning takes way more time than regular in-class learning. I can't imagine this is not true. I'm doing okay but...


I'm looking forward to the time when The Kid can get herself to school and back, and I can take traditional classes, because I think I will enjoy that environment a lot more.

ANYWAY, I really did learn something besides fractions these last two weeks!

(Clearly it wasn't how to tell a cohesive story. That comes later. You hope.)

The "fastwriting" continues to be my favorite part, mostly because as you do this you discover things you didn't already know. This has always been my Achilles heel - doing things I don't already know how to do. It sounds arrogant to say that I can figure most things out and do them well, but...

It's true! I can't help it!

So when faced with something I *don't* know (like fractions) I get very frustrated with myself.

This often happens when I sit down to write... even this blog. You may have noticed me floundering around a time or two, posting videos rather than writing something... that was me not knowing what to talk about, or how to articulate what I *did* want to say.

This method really gets the creative juices flowing, and I have found myself not only with lots to say (I can't write fast enough with some of the prompts) but also with *new information* - things I didn't read about, or sit down and contemplate, but which came unbidden as I wrote.

I discovered, for example, that while I am still the perfectionist I've always been, and still seek praise, my idea of perfectionism has changed greatly, and though I still enjoy the motivation of being appreciated by others (don't we all?), the praise I seek most often is my own.

Hm.... I think I just started my personal essay! :)

So! Enough about school. I don't want it to become my life (tooooooo late).

I'm feeling a little bit better about the whole Derby thing, though not great. I'm really going to try to back off, although I did send a note to her coach asking for some advice, and to hopefully prevent some serious hurt feelings. Their team shirts are in, and I'm not sure The Kid is on the team since she hasn't passed her skills test. How embarrassing would that be for her?! So I figured I'd ask in advance. The coaches haven't been super clear on all this, which is understandable since this is the first year and they only see us once a week. I don't know what will happen, which is probably half of why I'm so anxious about it all, but I know The Kid will be okay in the end.

I hope.

I know disappointment and embarrassment is part of life, but how can I let it happen if there's something I can do to prevent it? She's had plenty of disappointment already. She's definitely not sheltered.

On deck this weekend...
  • Noshing and watching The Man burn with some of my favorite people and probably being slightly depressed for a little while - I so wish I was there in person, but I'm enjoying Camp Envy at least! The Nut compels us! (Don't ask.)
  • Writing and Math homework (OH GOD WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS).
  • A trip to the mall to scout non-jean pants for Florida - I hear it's swampy.
  • Visiting with TR's kitties and giving them a good brushing.
  • Trying to just be supportive and not so worried at practice Sunday.
  • Hanging with The Fabulous Greeley Crew.
  • Sleeping in on Monday - yay for 3-day weekends!
Happy Friday!

PS... Here's something I liked today.

1 comment:

Dandy said...

I want to take a writing class! I've been just flopping around lately when it comes to writing.

good luck with the derby thing, you can't help but be anxious.

I'm not sure what the nut is but I would definitely agree that it currently compels you :)