Holy Spontaneous Surprise Clapping Babies, Batman!

So today I get to be part of something awesome.

Jana and Sasha, mutual blog friends of the Famous Formerly Almost Mrs. Dandy, got together and planned an awesome online baby shower! I've never heard of doing this before, and so of course I'm convinced we are the first. Don't burst my bubble if you know different!

They are super cool girls and I'm so grateful to them for inviting me to be part of it.

Click that right there...there should be a whole list of blogs shortly!

We're treating this just like a regular ol' baby shower, too, minus the cake unless you thought ahead like me and are eating a cupcake while typing.

Let's see, what comes first?

Oh right. Games.

Can I confess something to you? I hate Baby Shower games. But this is a traditional baby shower, dammit, so here goes.

First up, the "Don't Say the B-Word Game", wherein you get a safety pin, and lose said safety pin to the diligent attendee who hears you say "baby".

Whoops! Already lost that one... I've said it like 20 times already.

Okay moving on... how about Baby Bingo? Okay I'll start. Clear your Free Space. B-1!

Oh you don't have a board? Hm. I don't either, now that I think about it. Maybe the games will have to wait.

Let's just skip to the best part...

Presents!!!

From Babycakes & Decor, an AWESOME Etsy shop. The Dandys have been calling the Dandyling "Peanut", which is adorable, and look what Mrs. Dandy found for him and put on her extremely convenient registry?!** They even wrapped it sweetly, which makes me feel better about not having something ready to wrap and send myself.

**If you want to send her something too, email me privately and I'll give you her name - gotta protect the innocent!

"Wait, Mimi," you're saying. "Don't you have the Kraft Krazy running in your veins? Where's the handmade goodness?"

Well, it's coming. I'm working on it. DON'T PRESSURE ME!

No seriously, I have something fun in mind that I obviously can't tell you about but I can guarantee The Dandys will like it! I hope! I'll share pictures when it's done.

Now that we're done with the games that don't work and comparing presents, it's on to the most important part.

Advice.

My first bit of advice is don't listen to any of it too closely. Everyone is going to have things to offer, bits of wisdom, experiences to share, and your experiences will be the same sometimes and vastly different at other times. Every single pregnancy, birth and baby is different - that's why it's so much fun!

Having said that, here are some things I remember about when The Kid was a tiny thing.

• Breastfeeding is awesome. Your nipples are going to hurt for a little while though, so have some nice cold packs ready to go! (No really, you have no idea how powerful a vacuum a baby's mouth is - one time in the doctor's office, she was hungry but the doctor was coming in, so I let her suck on my chin - don't ask me why. The resulting hickey took 2 weeks to subside.) I read somewhere that cold, wet tea bags are a good option, but honestly who wants cold wet teabags stuck to them?! I'm sure there's a fetish out there, but for this purpose I'd say go with a little ziplock, filled with frozen peas, covered in a little bit of cloth. It's important not to use paper towels or flannel or anything that might leave a trace. Trust me on this. A handkerchief will do nicely, folded up so you don't freezer-burn your tatas.

• Bottles are equally okay! I was only able to breastfeed for a few months because I had to go back to work and it just wasn't a viable option. You've seen photos of my Amazon... it clearly did not stunt her growth. The point is, do whatever works for you! Others' opinions are exactly that... opinions.
  

• Sleep is important. Make sure you two take turns taking care of him, because not only are you both going to *want* to, you're going to need to in order to stay sane.

• Couple time is important too. Let your mom or another trust friend babysit! You and B go out and have an awesome dinner. Eat cheese. Drink wine. So many couples make the mistake of suddenly becoming a threesome and not remembering where that threesome started! It's okay to leave Peanut home with a sitter now and again.

• Germs are okay. They're even important! Sanitizing is important, too, but don't overdo it. Play pass-the-baby at Christmas, it's okay! If he gets sick, it's okay too. He'll get better. Building up those antibodies is important!
  

• Speaking of which, medicine is a good thing! Lots of people have differing opinions on immunizations and such. I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, but I *will* tell you The Kid has had every immunization imaginable, and other than getting a severe case of Sassy Teen, she's been absolutely fine. Immunizations aside, though, trust me on this one... BABY IBUPROFEN. USE IT. If he doesn't have an allergy, it's SO the way to go. It will bring a fever down and relieve teething pain in 15 minutes flat. Tylenol doesn't do that! Of course, this is just my advice. Again, don't use it if it doesn't work for you.
  

• On the subject teething... It's awful. Their noses run, they cry, their ears hurt, they run fevers... give him medicine. They say if an adult went through teething they'd die from the pain. Baby Anbesol, Ibuprofen or Tylenol if that works... whatever it takes! And here's an awesome thing I discovered! When he's doing the Two-Year Molar thing, hand him a frozen waffle (younger than that and the waffle might be too much in the way of foodstuffs). He'll thank you for it. It's cold, tasty, and the ridges feel AWESOME. Ever have a sinus headache, and find just the right part of your cheekbones to push so it relieves the pain? Yeah, like that.

• Accidents are going to happen. Don't worry too much. Babies and small children are unbelievable resilient. And wiggly. I discovered The Kid could roll over when she plopped down into the open sock drawer in which I was rummaging at the bottom of her changing dresser. Lesson learned! One hand remained on her belly from then on if I had to multitask. You learn as you go along, and they learn with you! Remind me to tell you about the time I dislocated The Kid's elbow. Twice. Lesson learned... Nursemaid's Elbow is not something the doctor made up to make you feel better!
  

• Sometimes, big accidents happen. This doesn't make you a bad parent! Broken bones and road rash are par for the course, unfortunately... kids are daredevils! Know where your insurance card is at all times, and keep the kid's doctors phone numbers in your cell phone.

Is your head spinning yet? Okay, okay, tell you what. I'll just wrap it up with one more bit of advice.

• Trust yourselves. "What, that's it?" you're asking. Yes! Trust yourselves. You are a smart woman. B is a smart man - he married you, didn't he? You two will figure it out. If you want advice, trust yourselves enough to ask one of us Mamas. Just don't take it as Bible Truth - take what makes sense to you, leave the rest, and go with your instincts! There's no instruction book. You do what feels right, what feels like it's best. That's your best compass.
  

Okay I said I'd quit with the advice, but I want to just say one more thing.

• It's okay if you don't do everything perfectly. I swear. Peanut will remember hugs and kisses, his favorite teddy bear, his favorite book, car rides where he throws up spectacularly, and traditions of holiday joy - these are the things that stick!
  

Good luck, guys... you're going to be awesome.

Oh, and Mrs. Dandy? The diet's almost over. I promise.